-mare

It was a long hallway. The late evening made each step more drowsy than the last. He passed door after door; marched onward towards his goal. Time played tricks on him here, thirty seconds felt like a quarter hour and then a quarter hour felt like thirty seconds. Points of reference blurred into each other. The hall couldn't possibly have an end, he realized... just an infinite series of doors. He started counting them:

One

Two

At three he stopped, slowly, not entirely sure what he expected to find on the other side of his door. A uncomfortable heat radiated out around the edges. Finally, he took his master key and turned the lock.

Mirrors. There were at least thirty mirrors in the room beyond the third door; and they all shone crimson against the darkened walls. None were exactly alike, even in the reflections they offered. Mark noticed that only a few of the mirrors even seemed to even emulate the room around him. Of the rest, some showed movement when there was none or none when there was some. Others seemed to show alien locations that he didn't recognize at all. Shapes were distorted and twisted. Worst of all, loathsome figures moved about in most of the reflections. Mark couldn't make out their details, he didn't want to.

"They're nightmares, kid." said a familiar voice. He didn't bother turning around, he knew who was standing behind him. "They are fear and the realization of fear. They are pain and death. They are the worst imaginings of humanity."

He paused, letting the words sink in.

"Now, since you're here I can offer you a interesting choice. Do you see that small mirror in the center of the far wall? The vanity that reflects this room almost perfectly right now? You can go look at your reflection in it if you wish, but that is all I can allow you to do... although I should warn: you might find it difficult to reach. Whichever you choose, don't do so lightly, your decisions here affect everything."

Mark paused, considered the offer, and finally put a determined foot forward. The mirror in question made a crack like thawing ice. Something had taken a step towards him as well.

Talking to myself

I built myself a pillow fort
and found him there inside
eager to depart this place
where I had come to hide

“What ho, brave knight!? Do you bring news
of fierce and fiendish foe?
Come! Let us off from Camelot
to wage a worthy war!”

“There is no war, you stupid kid
now please just let me be
within the safety of these walls
for just one final day.”

“I see” said he “then let me ask,
what danger do you flee?
That two great swords of Camelot
can not go put to rest?

I bowed my head, said “Fatherhood”
He laughed (I knew he would)
“Alright” he said “You've got me there
my court is yours today.”

“It's big” I sighed “I know” reply
we both exchanged a grin
“You know this means another knight”
“To fill our halls within”

War

Why is it that this
civilized species threatens
the lives of every?

8am

The Drillfield, if one is to judge
by its name, must have been used for military
drill, back when we still called the school VPI.

This morning, however, most just use it
as an annoyance. Another obstacle between
their warm beds and the early classes

which, if the most are like me, they resent for
causing their alarms to pull them from, at
best, a 6 hour slumber. The bell tower

at the top of the field is playing a song
by the Beatles, either though my watch tells
me that it's 7:52. It seems odd

that it should be playing just for us who so hate
the world right now. About halfway across
a man tries to save me with a green

half-Bible. The earlyness makes it a little easier
to shrug him off and continue towards the math
building, which they have said is shaped

like a compass. I don't really get what
the two things have to do with each other,
it would make at least a little more sense

if that was the shape of whatever building they put
International Studies in. The perfect symmetry of a
compass comes off as confusing rather than

"neat" or "interesting" and I wouldn't have
to deal with it there. While thinking
I've slipped up and by mistake taken

a flier offered from some poor kid whose
club decided he should be here, waiting
for us. Apparently the rowing team

needs more members. "Big surprise" I think
as the flyer flies into the garbage.

On indecision

Fear not the road not taken!
Dread not the uncertain trail
Inside a veridical you lies
The former, frostbitten, dies.

I am

I am the friend, the one to talk to
I listen to their trouble
I laugh with them, sigh with them
Am there if only an ear is needed

I am the loner, the one by himself
To see myself more than to be myself
Alone through my own fault
through opportunity not to be, I stay

I am anonymity, the one who no one knows
Those friends that are anonymous too
Through a screen we can only see so little,
but at the same time, more than we might without.

I am the individual, I am conformity
I do that to separate, I try to include
I think differently, yet unintentionally the same
To be caught between I remain

You

Who are you?
Do you even know?
Try to tell me if you like
Only so much you can show

Do your parents know
that real yourself inside?
How about your siblings?
Is there something that you hide?

Tell me what you think
Show us what you do
Prove what you believe in
Is that what makes up you?

You can hide behind your lables
Pretend for all you like
Show your mask to all the world
Let nobody inside

Protect yourself from all of them
If that is what you wish
But I will say: Release yourself
Scratch your name from their lists

And if you want
I'll help you find
That real yourself inside
A person
You will never
never
Hide

Orange

Hair in my face
Not mine, no matter, we're
Lost in embraces
Lost in the burgundy breeze

Falling into her smirk
No, falling past
Feet disembark
Falling facedown into leaves

Patience, wait for the laugh
She tries to not, but
Trying isn't enough
I choose she join me down here

Sun balanced on mountain
Softening strident souls
Moment forever sustains
No next, no last, only now.

Turbulence

I'm just thinking too much lately
When you don't feel young and
You can't think of why you're doing what you're doing and
I'm just thinking too much lately

Does anyone care for me?
You know there's you
But the loneliness comes from many sides
There are some who don't care for me

There's a problem with how the world is today
The world will never be perfect
You can defy it, deny it, or die to it
I think we're on a crumbling bridge

Sometimes i wish i could just be peter pan and fly away..
Life is cruel when one becomes an adult
Every year is harder on the mind. Do we accept or delude?
We aren't kids anymore

The world is broken
Try your hardest to find something to correct
Try my hardest at what though?
the only stuff i like is the stuff on my blog
rather than live for something...live for someone

I really wish i could change something
You can.
But i don't know where to start...and who would listen to me if i did?
We will
But remember what you sacrifice for throwing yourself to a cause.
I would trade my life for another shot at the who that I can no longer live for.

Loyalty

Humans are very loyal creatures. That's quite a statement for me to make, especially considering that I consider most of us to be incredibly fickle. Stay with me, however, and maybe you'll see things as I do.

I was reading a newspaper today about how my university had to undergo 10.3 million dollars in cuts due to funding issues. My initial reaction was to blame the Republicans for this shortcoming that will cause 39 people to lose their jobs. In immediate hindsight, I became ashamed of this reaction for two reasons. The first was that I've been trying for a very long time to separate myself from my Democratic upbringing and become fully independent in my thinking. The second was that the Governor - who made the cuts - is a Democrat. Whoops.

I kept reading, and to my further dismay I now found myself sympathysing with the decision to make the cuts. After all, $10 million isn't really so much for such a large university.... and considering they employ thousands if not tens of thousands of people to keep it running, 39 isn't that much. I'd completely changed how I felt about the situation based solely on a party loyalty that I thought I had eliminated! So much for being independent.

This, of course, got me to thinking. We, as humans are very loyal creatures. To our opinions, to our lifestyles, to institutions, etc. We'll go as far as to stay loyal even when it's not in our best interests. We resist change (even if we say we embrace it), this is a fundamental part of the human psyche. If I haven't convinced you yet, let me introduce you to a little concept known as brand loyalty.

Quick! Coke or Pepsi?! McDonnalds or Burger King!? Nike or Adidas!? Dominoes, Pappa John's or Pizza hut!? Convinced yet? What have these brands ever done to win your loyalty? Are their competitors really so bad that you'll choose your 'preference' all but always?

Of course, it's not limited to the corporate world. We tend to have other, more fundamental, loyalties that tend to define who we are if we let them. I'm sure sometime in your life you have come into contact with both of our friends on the religious battlefield. On one side, we have the man who believes in a book because it tells him to. On the other, we have the man who claims to have an open mind, denounces the other man for his closed mindedness, and refuses to even consider the views of the other. Neither will ever change unless something deeply personal forces the change upon them.

So what does this mean for you, the reader? Well, to tell the truth, I'm not sure. However, I think I see this as a kind of problem. Either though, I can propose no solution to you, me, or the world... Identifying the problem is still progress.