Turbulence

I'm just thinking too much lately
When you don't feel young and
You can't think of why you're doing what you're doing and
I'm just thinking too much lately

Does anyone care for me?
You know there's you
But the loneliness comes from many sides
There are some who don't care for me

There's a problem with how the world is today
The world will never be perfect
You can defy it, deny it, or die to it
I think we're on a crumbling bridge

Sometimes i wish i could just be peter pan and fly away..
Life is cruel when one becomes an adult
Every year is harder on the mind. Do we accept or delude?
We aren't kids anymore

The world is broken
Try your hardest to find something to correct
Try my hardest at what though?
the only stuff i like is the stuff on my blog
rather than live for something...live for someone

I really wish i could change something
You can.
But i don't know where to start...and who would listen to me if i did?
We will
But remember what you sacrifice for throwing yourself to a cause.
I would trade my life for another shot at the who that I can no longer live for.

Loyalty

Humans are very loyal creatures. That's quite a statement for me to make, especially considering that I consider most of us to be incredibly fickle. Stay with me, however, and maybe you'll see things as I do.

I was reading a newspaper today about how my university had to undergo 10.3 million dollars in cuts due to funding issues. My initial reaction was to blame the Republicans for this shortcoming that will cause 39 people to lose their jobs. In immediate hindsight, I became ashamed of this reaction for two reasons. The first was that I've been trying for a very long time to separate myself from my Democratic upbringing and become fully independent in my thinking. The second was that the Governor - who made the cuts - is a Democrat. Whoops.

I kept reading, and to my further dismay I now found myself sympathysing with the decision to make the cuts. After all, $10 million isn't really so much for such a large university.... and considering they employ thousands if not tens of thousands of people to keep it running, 39 isn't that much. I'd completely changed how I felt about the situation based solely on a party loyalty that I thought I had eliminated! So much for being independent.

This, of course, got me to thinking. We, as humans are very loyal creatures. To our opinions, to our lifestyles, to institutions, etc. We'll go as far as to stay loyal even when it's not in our best interests. We resist change (even if we say we embrace it), this is a fundamental part of the human psyche. If I haven't convinced you yet, let me introduce you to a little concept known as brand loyalty.

Quick! Coke or Pepsi?! McDonnalds or Burger King!? Nike or Adidas!? Dominoes, Pappa John's or Pizza hut!? Convinced yet? What have these brands ever done to win your loyalty? Are their competitors really so bad that you'll choose your 'preference' all but always?

Of course, it's not limited to the corporate world. We tend to have other, more fundamental, loyalties that tend to define who we are if we let them. I'm sure sometime in your life you have come into contact with both of our friends on the religious battlefield. On one side, we have the man who believes in a book because it tells him to. On the other, we have the man who claims to have an open mind, denounces the other man for his closed mindedness, and refuses to even consider the views of the other. Neither will ever change unless something deeply personal forces the change upon them.

So what does this mean for you, the reader? Well, to tell the truth, I'm not sure. However, I think I see this as a kind of problem. Either though, I can propose no solution to you, me, or the world... Identifying the problem is still progress.

Red

Look!
You can no longer delude!
Look down to this world
This pit you have brewed

Are you blind?
The fanciful glade?
That foul facade?
Face the fester you've made!

But no, turn away
Like your hypocrite kin
There is no decay
This is not your sin

Imbecile!
If we wish to this world renew
It must start with one
It must start with you!

The Packing

Layers upon layers of human life
Soils the floor
Squalid
And yet,
It is my life

And I tell myself
These things do not define me
And yet,
They do

Under the bed a gift never given
It's just an old guitar strap now
And yet,
The friend to whom it would belong
Feels the same

In an old book there's a phone number
I remember who that person used to be
Changed now
And yet,
I am too

Entangled in the mass of computer parts
There is a failed art project
Stupid of me to think I could tell a beautiful story
And yet,
Maybe I could have
Maybe I can

But there's no time, I must pack
Memories are nice, but there's no room
in a dorm
And so,
They're left

Damn it!
The tears should be over now!
The people are still here, alive!
And yet
A part me, of us
is dead.

Quite neatly tucked down
In the bottom desk drawer
Lies the wide ruled paper
Scrawled out on a floor
This ancient contract
Of the friendship of four


Writing is just a distraction
And yet,
It is the release

Two questions

Choose carefully, as the answers are important.

Do you live more in the pursuit of that which you think will bring pleasure or experiencing pleasure?

Do you think we are sufficiently complex enough to understand our own complexity?

Of Reality and Ideals

Respectively presented for your consideration:

For those of you who haven’t met me already, please allow me to flaunt my ego for the moment and introduce myself. I’m an everyperson; I have no name, but you may call me X if you wish. My favorite color is black, the question mark is my preferential punctuation and I enjoy long walks through the mind. But enough about me, please tell me about you.

Do you think of yourself as a realist or an idealist? Choose carefully! Realists are stone-faced pessimists and idealists are detached dreamers who will never get by in real life. They belong to completely opposite sides of the spectrum… or so society tells us. In my picture of reality (and remember, you always have the option to define what reality is) they are less different. Realists see the world as what it is, idealists see the world as what it can be. To truly have an impact on this floating sphere we call home, I believe you must possess a little of both. After all, I doubt anybody would argue that we live in a perfect world. In addition, I believe that most everyone wants to influence our world in some way. To bring about a change you must know where you are and where you wish to go, otherwise you’re libel to lose yourself. So find yourself a balance.

Reality is often hard to take, we tend to separate ourselves into fantasy worlds where a misfortune didn’t occur or we befel marvelous fortune. This only makes being pulled back into reality the more painful. If you wish to truly find reality I believe you must deal with it head on the moment it comes for you. Let arrogant reality know that you’re the boss and you can take whatever it can dish out… you’ll be surprised at what the human mind is capable of when put to the task.

However, there’s something in those fantasy worlds that we create that has a certain draw to us… to human nature as a whole. Perhaps yours is where innocents aren’t killed daily or one where the word 'integrity' is more than just a noun. Understanding what is worth fighting for is just as important as dealing with the hand reality has dealt you. Because we all have the power to make the world a better place, we all have dreams – that insuperable power of the human spirit. Don’t let reality tell you that you can’t have that, deny reality the power to continue as it does without regard.

Now because it is against my style to leave without a question, I present to you these: Why is the world the way it is? Did realists just watch and let it happen? Did idealists envision it this way? Who are you to challenge the system? What is it to challenge you?

Best of luck!

And I must have stumbled into an area akin to Nascar

Life is like driving a car in reverse.
We have no way of knowing where we're going and can only see what's already past us. The furthest landmarks are beginning to blend with the horizon and the only hint for how to steer comes from what we've already passed.

Life is like driving a car in reverse. We don't remember how we got in or why we hit the gas and we're hoping to hell that we don't crash.

Life's Funny

If there is a single, undeniable fact about life, this would be it. Life is naturally funny. How often we seem to overlook this fact. How often we forget to laugh a little, even when it may hurt or feel wrong somehow. I once had a very good friend tell me,

"Don't take life too seriously, after all, you're not getting out of it alive."

Morbid isn't it? But at the same time oddly funny. That's the point.

Comedy is often referred to as the lowest form of art. However, in my view, the point of art is to either evoke an emotion or provoke a thought. Good comedy does both. The comic is even sometimes better at explaining life to us than the deepest novels, plays, essays or poems.

Like I said, life's funny.

Plus, the comic does something else! He evokes an emotion that makes us feel good! Laughter, after all, is a part of the human experience that should be taken very seriously.

Now, because I couldn't resist the bad pun, I'd like to illustrate what I mean about the comic artist, through the use of... comics!



Bill Watterson is one of my favorite comic artists. He has the ability to make his comics work on many levels to appeal to whatever a person may look for in it. There's always the punchline at the end but usually there are deep thoughts and conclusions to be drawn from his comic if one takes the time to dwell on it.



As a man in the public eye - or rather - a man putting "stuff" in front of said public eye, he could use his position and his humor to address issues that he felt were important to himself and the world.



He could show off the deepest thoughts of his being. Pay close attention to Calvin's description of his sculpture.



Or the comic artist can simply show off his skill at poetry. Read the comic, then read it again and notice how perfectly the poem flows with the different panels creating pauses in the poem.



And all the time the comic artist is showing something basic and primal about human nature in a humorous manner.

Now in stark contrast, another favorite artist of mine is Tatsuya Ishida. Although he was inspired by Watterson's work in Calvin and Hobbes His style of comedy is quite different, relying on the basis of human nature that is offensive or now considered unacceptable for much of his humor. Still, he manages to express himself and human nature quite well - in some ways better than Watterson himself since he isn't bound by a syndicate to publish his work, he can say whatever he feels like.

Whether it be about self pity or passing wishes of nonexistance



Or about the stark contrast between ideals and actions.



What amazes me most about the comic artist is the ability to relate to each of us in a way that can make us laugh. Sometimes it may amaze us in it's simple profoundness



Or in it's ability to show us ourselves.



For those of you who keep up with my blog. This comic was written approximately 2 months after my Inner Peace posting... and it still amazes me how exactly that last comic hits the mark.

Thanks for reading and remember: Don't take life too seriously or you'll never have time to stop and laugh

a Song for tomorrow

We've always known it'd end like this
And in our last song together
You'd play the notes I've played a thousandfold
And I'd march off, fighting the tears
We all knew would come

Why!? We knew it'd end
But yet, you and I, we kept at it
Through sun and storm
The shouting, the laughter
Long afternoons, those early, cold mornings
And yes, through that pile of fresh manure
At the Christmas Parade

So what made it?
Was it the day we got our music?
Knowing we'd just make ourselves sick of it
We played that sheet of more black than white
While our Chief grinned and covered his ears
Or was it that sectional in the storage room,
Where we were nearly crushed by the sax shelf?
I suppose we never did find out who did that
Perhaps it's not important

The little minutes maybe:
Trying desperately to hit that high note in my solo
Or having my face turn a remarkable shade of crimson
When my voice cracked
As freshmen were called to dismiss

Taking a ride for the first time
Barely able to stand on cardboard legs
Which never seemed to improve with time
Or pouring my song out to the drum major
Whose smile stopped my heart

How about when we came together?
It happened every year.
And every year we seemed to improve just a little, just enough
To hear our song for the first time
After playing it a hundred times before

Of course there were the People
Some friends, some not
but all together in it

We sang, yes, the band sang
Ironically, only on the bus
And only returning from somewhere
But Bohemian Rhapsody was a must
...maybe what made it was trust
Trust to set the song up
Trust to play it right
Trust that when you messed up
To tell you "It's alright"
Trust we'll play the show
Trust that jazz band will come
Either though
Second semester seemed oh so far
And marching had just begun

Yes
It was all these things and more
And as I walk down the isle
And as you play that tune
Remember, my heart is not at the podium
Nor with my class
My parents, family, or friends
Right now, for one last brief second
I'm sitting in row three, seat two.

Song Born in Dream - Chart of my Destiny

The winds of habit
Change
The rock we cherished
Deranged
And what we find
And what we do
We knew this 'soul'
Would never, never
make
...Me whole

So here am I
And searching I find
The no where I start
Is not on that chart
...of my desity

You found me here
How nice
You brought me only
your vice!
And what'd you think
Would bring me down?
This man you knew is
already beneath the ground!

So here am I
And searching I find
The no where I start
Is not on that chart
...of my desity