Happiness

It's what I search for... a personal search for meaning in my life. After all, in all but a very very few situations, everything we do in life is in the pursuit of happiness. Sure, you can get smart with me and maybe say that going to school doesn't make you happy. However, if you go there by your own free will, it's in pursuit of some future reward. If you go unwillingly, it's because there's some force keeping you in...a force which, disobeyed, would bring you more unhappiness then school.

If you really want to get smart about it, you could go and do something completely random just to prove me wrong. Sadly, completing such an act causes you pleasure or satisfaction at your ability to disprove me... in it's own right, happiness.

It's a fleeting thing after all... Today, when between schools, I realized that I was happy. Genuinely and truly happy with my life at the current point in time. I had just come from doing something I found pleasurable (working with computers) and was on my way to band, which I enjoy immensely. To top it off, the song on the radio was perfect to sing along to. Of course, at this point you can cue Murphy's Law. No sooner than I had realized my happiness I managed to find two dead cats and an ambulance in quick succession.

Perhaps we can feel guilty when we are happy.... after all, we know that whenever we're joyful, another's sad. With every birth a death is inevitable. Every time we're fed, another person goes hungry. Empathy combined with the problems of the world makes for a sad state of affairs. Is it wrong to feel happy?

I think not. If one stops feeling joy on the behalf of others, isn't that just turning them into the people who are taking away the joy in the first place?

Wanting

You know the story
Perhaps the only one, yes
The only one man has ever known
Or ever will...

Finding something one desires
So in private we conspire
To either place it on our shelf
Or make it part of self

Or, perhaps in some rare cases
With some faint traces
In far off places
Or in the comfort of one's mind
When you come to find
That you've been blind

There's something that's different
Something so old, something so new
You want it so bad, that want
In leiu, is proven untrue
So believe me when I say
What I need
Is you

The Beginning

I'm new at this, which you can obviously see by this first post. I made this blog for a number of reasons...perhaps you'll come to see them fulfilled. First and foremost, I feel that I need to get thoughts out. Letting them sit alone in my head does little good for myself or anybody else. I have no great expectations of this experiment becoming vastly popular, or of even gaining more than a single reader. However, just talking, even if it's to myself might do some good....might prompt some thought...might change a life. One never does really know; after all I do subscribe to the butterfly effect.

You know, on second thought maybe there was only one reason for me to make this. One fully unselfish reason that is. You see, I'm a jealous person. I envy those who can express their innermost thoughts with the utmost ease. Perhaps it's that I need a larger vocabulary...not bigger words, just better ones. However, if I'm lucky what I need is practice. My inspiration is a person who goes by many names and has enough thoughts to fill each one of them. I fully recommend his blog to anybody who has stumbled (or perhaps more than stumbled) across this one. You may find him here http://adamantexile.blogspot.com/